Monday 11 August 2008

A prayer for mountain top vistas of God's glory and grace

I've always struggled to focus on God, rather than his gifts, in the times when he's blessed me with carefree, easy going life. This has become more pronounced as I've learnt and grown so much when I'm carrying my cross. I thank God for those tough times, not because suffering is fun, but because of how much I can see him working in me in those times, but it's almost getting to the point that I don't thank him for the good times, that I don't want to be blessed with good times.

So I've written a prayer, and I want (perhaps against my better judgement) to share it to you. Thank the Lord that salvation is reliant not on my poetry skills, rhyming ability or anything like that! Thank the Lord that he is a loving father, who will pin this on his fridge, contemplate it, listen to it and answer it, despite the fact that it's dire!

Shall I lean on you only when I'm in the mood?
Shall I praise your gifts, not you, when feeling good?
Shall I only seek you when things aren't going well?
Shall I only look to you when everything's not swell?

The stars shine all the time, but are only seen at night:
So I feel it is with your glory's radiant light.

The lights of the world distract and blind:
Help me in the daytime, your grace, to find

I thank you that in the valley, I'm watered, I grow,
But on the mountains, you become just someone that I know.
Help me see you, feel you, in the heights;
On those peaks, make me more like Christ.

When I think I can do it, you aren't Lord.
When it seems in my power, you make me bored.
Humble me in those times of no suffering,
Help me see that always you are King.

On those peaks there should be a glorious view;
Yet when I'm up there, I ignore you.
When I'm resting from carrying my cross,
Help me search for gold and not dross.

I'm sorry Lord, that I turn from your living water
And make idols out of your good gifts - I stumble and falter
When things aren't going 'wrong'.
Oh Lord please help me to always sing your song.

I'm learning by paradox that to be low is to be high;
That in my loneliness you walk by my side.
Teach me also that to be high is to be low,
That when things are 'going well', still to you I must go.